Sahar is a member of the LDS church here in Jerusalem. Tonight she spoke with us about life as a Palestian and a member of the LDS church.
Sahar lives in Bethlehem which is currently in the West Bank and under confines of the Israeli army. She lives in an "outdoor prison" as she is surrounded by the walls that seperate her from everyone else.
I thought you may be interested to hear her story.
"I was born here near the Mount of Olives. I was raised a Palestinian. Life was not easy in a Greek Orthodox home. I did believe in God and Jesus Christ. I grew up Christian. I believed in God, but not in a loving God. I believed the Heavenly Father loved others but not Palestinians, therefore, he didn’t love me. I thought he hated us and that was why he was persecuting us. At a point in my life I considered being a suicide bomber because it would be easier to end the suffering. But I continued on with my life. I got a masters degree in D.C. by way of a great scholarship.
One day as I was reading the newspaper there was an ad for a scholarship for a university called Brigham Young. My brother suggested that I apply. I didn’t think I should because I had a scholarship, but my brother said do it just in case. I did apply and I was interviewed by President Brown, who did offer me the scholarship. I felt bad but I still wanted to go to D.C. People from the center came to my house. The scholarship at BYU was 1/3 less than the one in D.C. everyone thought I was crazy to even consider BYU. I don’t have a strong personality and I tend to do what people think I should do. This time I had a really strong feeling that I should go to BYU.
At the time I didn’t know what that feeling was. I pushed everyone back and I went to BYU. I felt at home immediately, but I decided before I went that I would never be a member of the Church. According to my grandfather, “Mormons marry more than one wife because they want to have many children. They have many children because Christ is coming and will be born to a woman so they have many children so Christ will come faster.” But than he added, “I met a Mormon couple once and they were very nice.” So I went to Utah and started school not interested in the Church.
General Conference came and everyone is telling me that they were going to listen to the prophet and I thought, crazy Mormons they think there is a prophet. So I went to see just what everyone was talking about. I don’t remember what exactly President Hunter said but I do remember that he was talking about the Palestinians and was so kind. And he even called it Palestine and not Israel.
After, I asked my friend to tell me everything and she did. The people in the room thought she was confusing me by saying everything at once. But to me it all made sense. I couldn’t believe that something could make so much sense. A friend gave me an Arabic Book of Mormon. After reading I didn’t even need to pray because I knew it was true. The more I went to church the more it made sense. I decided to get baptized and of course my family thought I was crazy, but I couldn’t turn my back on something I knew to be true with every fiber of my being. I didn’t want to come home because it was a miserable place before. But Heavenly Father told me to return to Palestine.
I did return to Palestine, only now I had added trials because my family tried everything they could to get me to leave the church. It was difficult for me to get to the Jerusalem Center to come to church, etc. But it was the happiest time of my life. This change of heart can help us find support during our trials. I had a change of heart that happened to me, as did Paul. Alma says, “They were in the midst of darkness but their souls were eliminated…the chains of hell…were they destroyed nay they were not….their souls did sing redeeming love and they are saved.” Many of you have experienced this mighty change just like Paul and I did. Life does become easier knowing that we have help during our trials. “Christ cannot prevent our hearts from being broken but he can help our broken hearts.” Camille Fronk. He has overcome the world and with his help we can overcome the world.
Daily changes in our lives. We can look within and know where we need to improve. Pres. Faust said, “Each one of us has been given the power to change our life. We have agency to make our decisions…in some way all of us need to change. Some of us have habits that need to be changed. These habits harm us or those around us.”
3 methods we can ensure we are changing:
1. Do the Lords will no matter what. Don’t let any one prevent you from doing what is right. Don’t worry about what others will think or say. He will stay by your side, others may not.
Coming to Church was very difficult to get into Jerusalem and was dangerous most of the time. For example, there are different ways into Jerusalem. There are back ways. At one point the only way to get into Jerusalem was to take a Taxi into the valley (we never drive on roads because that is where the soldiers are). You walk two or three miles. Taxi drivers cannot take Palestinians because their license will be taken away. One day I was walking the miles to church and the soldiers spotted me and shot at me. Luckily this nice man took me into his car and drove me to Jerusalem.
We have curfew. If you leave your house we are shot. I had to come give a talk for the branch jus like tonight. Randomly, there was this Taxi driver in front of my house and said where do you need to go? I have no idea where he came from. I had to hid in the taxi and we have to take back roads and driving on the hay field because he cannot be seen with me or put into prison.
If we try and do our best the Lord will help us. I know the Lord was carrying me every time when I came to church.
2. Allow Him to help us change.
We were tier gas bombed trying to get across a wall. It was not fun. It has nothing to do with your eyes watering, but it hurts your throat and lungs. Then the soldiers started shooting bullets at us in the university. Finally, a student was shot in the head while hanging a Palestinian flag on top of the University. The soldiers would not allow us to take that student to the hospital. As I sat there and watched these people suffer my heart was broken. I developed such a hatred for the soldiers because they wouldn’t allow us out to go to the hospital.
After I joined the church and came back that hate for the soldiers had dissolved from my heart. One day as I was trying to go to Church I tried the check points, like I always do, even though they never let me across. As I looked at that soldier the scripture “Bless them that curse you” I realized I didn’t hate them but that I don’t have feelings of love for them. The Savior wouldn’t command us to do something that is not possible.
“Pray unto the father…that you may be filled with this love…and become like him. We may have this hope to be purified as he is pure.” I prayed to Heavenly Father to help me love them.
If we ask for His help He will help us.
One year later and I went through the check point and they rejected me I finally felt love for the soldier. No hate or judgment but love. He was a son of God and that is all that mattered.
3. Trust the Lord and turn your life over to Him
We tend to worry too much. He is the potter and we are the clay. Let Him make a wonderful vessel out of us.
There are two kinds of changes. First is a mighty change. Second, are the little changes we need to make every day!
With the help of the Masters hand we can change. Become a new creature in Christ. HE chose me to have that mighty change. Without that I don’t know where I would be. It is not difficult to be a convert because I see where my life is today and it is so much better.
He bids us to come unto Him and to become His disciples. Keep Christ as the center and Savior of your world."